Views: 34,534   Voters: 41   Comments: 6
Started by: dantes_inferno2003 on January 14, 2009

There's only like a million of them... They got old after a while, but there's still some pretty funny ones out there. post em if you got em! ( Edited by dantes_inferno2003 )  

Chuck Norris Jokes
Image posted by dantes_inferno2003

How others are voting


Jonathon Hocker's picks

1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
3. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris'd.
5. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
7. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
8. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
9. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
10. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
11. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
12. Once, Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
13. In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
14. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
15. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
16. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
why I chose these

Namenamenos's picks

1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
3. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4. When Chuck Norries does pushups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
5. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
6. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
7. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
8. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
why I chose these

Piratice's picks

1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Once, Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
8. people use superman pijamas, superman uses chuck norris pijamas
9. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
10. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
why I chose these

dilligaf7224's picks

1. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
2. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
3. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
5. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
why I chose these

drewsome's picks

1. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris'd.
2. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
3. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
6. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
why I chose these

Jairo Arroyo's picks

1. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris'd.
2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
why I chose these

NotableXception's picks

1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
3. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
4. Once, Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
5. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendys.
6. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
why I chose these

debsky's picks

1. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
2. When Chuck Norries does pushups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
3. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
4. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
5. Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel
why I chose these

XxShOpPiNg_CaRtSxX's picks

1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
3. When Chuck Norries does pushups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
4. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris'd.
5. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
why I chose these

Anonymous's picks

1. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
2. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
why I chose these
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