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Started by: karj on March 5, 2009
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I just watched the Coen brothers' The Big Lebowski for what feels like the fiftieth time. It's such a fun movie though, and I find myself laughing more at the dialogue each time. For this list, I've tried to pre-populate a few of the best lines. Perhaps you'll vote and add some of your favorites! ( Edited by karj )  

Best quotes from The Big Lebowski
Image posted by karj
#1

Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation? The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

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#2

Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click." The Dude: Jesus. Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. Walter Sobchak: Eight-year-olds, Dude.

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#3

Donny: What the fuck is he talking about? The Dude: My rug. Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element! The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about? Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please. The Dude: Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy... Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you...? The Dude: Walter, he peed on my rug! Donny: He peed on the Dude's rug. Walter Sobchak: Donny you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!

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#5

Blond Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this? The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

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#6

Walter Sobchak: Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit. Donny: What's wrong with Walter, Dude?

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#7

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson! Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

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#8

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. The Dude: Yeah, but Walter... Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

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#10

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh... Donny: I am the walrus. The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say... Donny: I am the walrus. Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch... The Dude: Oh yeah! Donny: I am the walrus. Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! Donny: What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?

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#11

Walter Sobchak: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos! Donny: What's Shabbos? Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit [shouts] Walter Sobchak: don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos! The Dude: Walter... Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking shabbos. The Dude: Oh fuck it. I'm out of here.

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#13

Walter Sobchak: Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it. The Dude: Thank you Walter, that makes me feel very secure, it makes me feel very warm inside.

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#14

The Dude: Jesus, man, can you change the station? Cab Driver: Fuck you man! You don't like my fucking music, get your own fucking cab! The Dude: I've had a... Cab Driver: I pull over and kick your ass out, man! The Dude: - had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man

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#15

Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude: Look, man... Walter Sobchak: Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude: Just ask him about the car. Walter Sobchak: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude: Is that your car out front? Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude: We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat? Walter Sobchak: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam? The Dude: Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter... Walter Sobchak: You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car. The Dude: And the fucking money. Walter Sobchak: And the fucking money. And, we know that this is your homework. The Dude: We're going to cut your dick off, Larry. Walter Sobchak: You're killing your father, Larry!

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32 and 29 are duplicates. Were they trying to have twins?

Posted 4 years ago

I was surprised in compiling the list. There are just so many great little bits of dialogue in there that you start to forget some of them.

Posted 5 years ago

What about the classic " I myself dabbled in pacifism, not in Nam of course" or "you're not wrong Walter, you're just an Asshole!" the list goes on and on!

Posted 5 years ago
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