Oh, my dear, sweet, Ozzy... What were you thinking? This track marks the precise moment when every other member of Sabbath thought, "maybe his departure from the band wasn't the worst thing in the world."
http://www.ozzy.com

"I'm on my waaay... I'm on my waaay... to future parody."
http://www.motley.com

It would be a stretch (perhaps a sin) to call Europe a "metal" band, but the sheer awfulness of this makes it impossible to ignore.

"And all the tears you cried that called my name." Seriously, they just don't write shit like that any longer. (Pity.)
http://www.skidrow.com/%20

Add one part slow-mo "band on the road" footage, one part scantily clad woman sporting feathered hair, and four or five lens flares, and you've got *solid* gold.
http://www.poisonweb.com

Just add orchestra; greatness assured.
http://www.the-scorpions.com

"Guys, we already proved we could write some pretty solid tracks with Runnin' with the Devil, Eruption, and Panama... Isn't it about time to try something else? Like sucking?"
http://www.van-halen.com

The return on this sweet little ditty: millions. The price: their self-respect (keep in mind, this is for a bunch of guys who painted cat faces on themselves).
http://www.kissonline.com

This wasn't a good idea, even at the time. Then of course, Whitesnake wasn't a good idea, even at the time.
http://www.whitesnake.com

When you write stuff like this, you hardly need to keep your band in-tact.
http://www.gunsnroses.com