Tobias: "I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad, on what was supposed to be a dry run. if you will. So, I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands." Michael: "There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence."
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1293/arrested-development-gift-basket#s-p15-st-i1

Tobias Fünke: "Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a 'sausage' in the mouth." Michael: "We just call it a sausage."

Tobias: "I blue myself." Michael: "There has got to be a better way to say that."

Michael: "Why are you squeezing me with your body?" Lucille: "It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you."

Maebe: "Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?" Michael: "That's a cross." Maebe: "Across from where?"

Lucille: "I'll be in the hospital bar." Michael: Uhh, you know, there isn't a hospital bar, mother." Lucille: "Well, this is why people hate hospitals."

(Buster)

Lucille: "Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out?" Gob: "She's not *that* Mexican, Mom, she's *my* Mexican. And she's Colombian or something."

Lindsay: "Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free." Lucille: "Really? Did 'nothing' cancel?"

Gob: "I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper."

Tobias: "I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors, maybe. Or better yet, hot sea..." Michael: "I like hot sailors." Tobias: "Mmmm. Me too."

Buster: "She's better than the whores you date." Gob: "Don't call my escorts whores." Buster: "Mom's still got it." Gob: "I don't date whores." Lindsay: "Stop it, both of you. This objectification of women has got to stop." Michael: "It's just Mom and whores."

(George Michael slips on floor) Michael: "You alright? Sorry. You grandmother had a little accident." George Michael: "aw. Does that mean she's going to have to come live with us?" Michael: "No, no. It was her drink..."
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1293/arrested-development-gift-basket#s-p15-st-i1

Lindsay: "I care deeply for nature." Michael: "You're wearing ostrich-skin boots." Lindsay: "Well, I don't care about ostriches."