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Started by: karj on November 6, 2007
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There are so many good ones. (Sometimes I irritate my wife by reciting them.) ( Edited by karj )  

Most brilliant Simpsons quotes
Image posted by karj

How others are voting


jaynay's picks

1. Lisa! Get in here. In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
2. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
3. "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems." - Homer
4. "Homer, lighten up! You're making happy hour bitterly ironic." - Moe Syzlak
5. Sideshow Bob- Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
6. I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary
7. Sideshow Bob: You want the truth! You can't handle the truth! No truth handler you! Bah! I deride your truth handling abilities!
8. "Bart, stop pestering Satan!" - Marge Simpson
9. "Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes' " - Moe
10. "Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it." - Lenny
11. I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it. (Prinicpal Skinner)
12. "So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk." - Lenny
13. "Mmm ... floor pie!" - Homer
14. Lisa: As Intelligence goes up, Happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make a lot of graphs.
15. Mr. Burns: Oh, meltdown. It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.
16. Montgomery Burns (when remarked on his incredible wealth): "Ah yes, but I'd trade it all for just a little bit more."
17. Homer: Mmmmm, unexplained bacon......
why I chose these

zat-bust's picks

1. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
2. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
3. "Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum
4. D’oh
5. I'm Normally Not a Praying Man, but If You're up There, Please save Me Superman -Homer
6. Save Me Jebus! - Homer
7. "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun." - Homer
8. "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T." -Homer
9. Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
10. "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" - Ralph
11. "Bart, stop pestering Satan!" - Marge Simpson
12. "My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star." - Grandpa
13. Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?
14. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing! -Homer
15. "I'll see you in hell! ...From heaven." - Reverend Lovejoy
16. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Where are we going? (Grandpa)
17. Lisa: As Intelligence goes up, Happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make a lot of graphs.
18. "Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three." - Grandpa
19. Ralph Wiggum - Your breath smells like dead bunnys
20. "I'm a unitard!" - Ralph
21. Montgomery Burns (when remarked on his incredible wealth): "Ah yes, but I'd trade it all for just a little bit more."
22. "A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice." - Homer
23. Rich Texan: YEE-HAW! I'm gonna win me a nuclear plant! Mr. Burns: Dream on, bitch.
24. Grandpa: Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents 'til the cows came home! Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!
25. "I never apologize! I'm sorry, that's just the way I am!" ~ Homer
why I chose these

Bret Davis's picks

1. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
2. "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems." - Homer
3. "Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" - Troy McClure
4. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
5. "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me." "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name." "I don't know."
why I chose these

SFino24601's picks

1. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
2. Lisa: As Intelligence goes up, Happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make a lot of graphs.
3. "Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" - Troy McClure
4. "My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star." - Grandpa
5. "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" - Ralph
6. Save Me Jebus! - Homer
7. "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun." - Homer
8. You know me Marge; I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
why I chose these

Pikapower's picks

1. "Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum
2. "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
3. D’oh
4. No TV, no beer make Homer something something
5. Save Me Jebus! - Homer
6. "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T." -Homer
7. "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" - Ralph
8. "Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it." - Lenny
9. Ralph Wiggum- I choo choo choose you
10. "Mmm...chocolate..."
why I chose these

Lorena Roa's picks

1. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
2. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
why I chose these

QueenKay's picks

1. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
2. "Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum
3. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
4. I'm Normally Not a Praying Man, but If You're up There, Please save Me Superman -Homer
5. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
why I chose these

Danielle Nolan's picks

1. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
2. Sideshow Bob- Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
3. I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary
4. Sideshow Bob: You want the truth! You can't handle the truth! No truth handler you! Bah! I deride your truth handling abilities!
5. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
why I chose these

aperfectsonnet's picks

1. "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems." - Homer
2. Sideshow Bob- Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
3. "Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes' " - Moe
4. Smithers: Women and seamen don't mix,
5. "I'll see you in hell! ...From heaven." - Reverend Lovejoy
why I chose these

Courtney LeStrange's picks

1. "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
why I chose these
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